Most of the managers are former elves who have worked their way up the candy-cane ladder but retain vivid
Most of the managers are former elves who have worked their way up the candy-cane ladder but retain vivid memories of their days in uniform. There is another morning set aside for terribly sick and deformed children. On that day it is an elf's job to greet the child at the Magic Tree and jog back to the house to brace our Santa."The next one is missing a nose" or "Crystal has third-degree burns covering 90 per cent of her body" Missing a nose. With these children Santa has to be careful not to ask, "And what would you like for Christmas?"This morning we were lectured by the SantaLand managers and presented with a Xeroxed booklet of regulations titled "The Elfin Guide". The worst part is that after I have accumulated $300 I have to remove $200, fill out half a dozen forms, and run the envelope of cash to the drop in the China Department or to the vault on the balcony above the first floor I am not allowed to change my clothes beforehand I have to go dressed as an elf. An elf in SantaLand is one thing, an elf in Sportswear is something else altogether.This afternoon we were given presentations and speeches in a windowless conference room crowded with desks and plastic chairs. We were told that during the second week of December, SantaLand is host to "Operation Special Children", at which time poor children receive free gifts donated by the store.
The Photo Elf hands them a slip of paper with a number printed along the top. The form is filled out by another elf and the picture arrives by mail weeks later So, really, all we sell is the idea of a picture. One idea costs $9, three ideas cost $18.My worst nightmare involves 22,000 people a day standing before my register I won't always be a cashier, just once in a while. The class was broken up into study groups and given assignments.
My group included several returning elves and a few experienced cashiers who tried helping me by saying things like, "Don't you even know your personal ID code? Jesus, I had mine memorised by 10 o'clock."All we sell in SantaLand are photos People sit upon Santa's lap and pose for a picture. My urine had roaches and stems floating in it, but still they hired me because I am short, five feet five inches Almost everyone they hired is short One is a dwarf. After the second interview I was brought to the manager's office, where I was shown a floor plan. On a busy day 22,000 people come to visit Santa, and I was told that it is an elf's lot to remain merry in the face of torment and adversity.